Happy Nuke Day!

Here's a fun little ditty to put a smile on your face right before the holidays. This Google Maps Mash-up shows you how much damage various types of nuclear weapon blasts would do in your neighborhood. But it won't tell you if you can survive the blast by hiding in a 1940's fridge.

There's Hope for the Music Industry! And it's not Nickleback.

Israeli computer scientist Yuval Shavitt has developed an algorithm for the web that predicts which songs will become chart-topping hits. It monitors p2p file-sharing sites like Gnutella to see which songs are being passed around most frequently. Mr Shavitt has already begun working with record labels and says they've had a 30-50% success rate in identifying which early recording will become commercial successes.

I think this is a pretty good idea. For one thing it might help get more innovative songs airplay because risk-averse labels have more confidence in their potential. Maybe you've noticed, but in recent years labels have relied on traditional market research to choose releases and that means they pass over songs that are risky, raw and creative. This, unfortunately, means we get to listen to Nickleback over and over again on the radio.

And perhaps a bigger positive about this software is that it might eventually kill labels off altogether. Instead of licensing this to labels, Mr. Shavitt should let the public use it (subscription or ad-based revenue model) so we can know which songs are the most-shared and most popular. Then, who needs a label at all?

Ideas are Everywhere

A dip in this Tokyo pool looks fun. Perhaps a local entreprenuer might see this and wonder if there's a market opportunity for a new pool.

Ideas are everywhere, keep your eyes open and you'll see them.

Scary Technology Plays your Thoughts as Images

According to the US Science Journal, Japanese researchers have found a way to stick sensors on your head and project images you're thinking of onto a monitor. In other words READ. YOUR. MIND.

As a market researcher I'm intrigued, but as a human I'm tempted to run off and live the remainder of my years alone in a Ted Kaczynski cabin complete with the wirey beard and flannel shirt. Here's a summary from the Pink Tentacle.

Researchers from Japan’s ATR Computational Neuroscience Laboratories have developed new brain analysis technology that can reconstruct the images inside a person’s mind and display them on a computer monitor, it was announced on December 11. According to the researchers, further development of the technology may soon make it possible to view other people’s dreams while they sleep.

The scientists were able to reconstruct various images viewed by a person by analyzing changes in their cerebral blood flow. Using a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine, the researchers first mapped the blood flow changes that occurred in the cerebral visual cortex as subjects viewed various images held in front of their eyes. Subjects were shown 400 random 10 x 10 pixel black-and-white images for a period of 12 seconds each. While the fMRI machine monitored the changes in brain activity, a computer crunched the data and learned to associate the various changes in brain activity with the different image designs.

Then, when the test subjects were shown a completely new set of images, such as the letters N-E-U-R-O-N, the system was able to reconstruct and display what the test subjects were viewing based solely on their brain activity. For now, the system is only able to reproduce simple black-and-white images. But Dr. Kang Cheng, a researcher from the RIKEN Brain Science Institute, suggests that improving the measurement accuracy will make it possible to reproduce images in color.

“These results are a breakthrough in terms of understanding brain activity,” says Dr. Cheng. “In as little as 10 years, advances in this field of research may make it possible to read a person’s thoughts with some degree of accuracy.”

The researchers suggest a future version of this technology could be applied in the fields of art and design — particularly if it becomes possible to quickly and accurately access images existing inside an artist’s head. The technology might also lead to new treatments for conditions such as psychiatric disorders involving hallucinations, by providing doctors a direct window into the mind of the patient.

ATR chief researcher Yukiyasu Kamitani says, “This technology can also be applied to senses other than vision. In the future, it may also become possible to read feelings and complicated emotional states.” The research results appear in the December 11 issue of US science journal Neuron.

Smart Janitors are Smarter than Dumb Doctors

This chart shows the mean IQ score by profession (sorry, marketers are not broken out specifically but it does mention "Managers").

I guess this is confirmation that I made the right choice by not going to Sexton School. It's also interesting to see the top percentiles of janitors have the same IQ as the bottom quartile of MDs.

It's not on the list but I bet "Shamoo Trainers" would have the highest mean IQ. I mean, you're pretty smart if you recognize just how sweet that job is.

=sum(ACDC:MSExcel)

The viral marketing concepts that work are the ones that surprise you. I bet never in your life would you associate AC/DC with Microsoft Excel but, well, there it is. AC/DC's new video from their new album as run through macros in Excel. I'm sure this was Angus' idea. He seems like a real Excel jockey.

Is Your Business Ready for its Close-Up?

Technology is a lens that helps us see trends, culture and groups of people on a micro rather than a macro level. We can now subscribe to a Podcast about Madisonian Constitutionalism that someone in Toledo makes in her basement. We can join a web forum called "Boomer Quilters against Drunk Drivers". We can peek at the latest work from an artist who specializes in making portraits out of Jelly Belly's.

Although these are somewhat extreme examples, all are extremely niche ideas. Business has gone increasingly niche over the past 10 years too. Here are two examples of just how focused some businesses are:

BoxCycle is a San Francisco start-up that helps you find cardboard boxes. If you've ever needed boxes to move, you know what a pain it is to either pay a fortune for them or go box scavenging behind retail stores. BoxCycle lets retailers with extra boxes list them on its site so you can pick them up either for free or paid.

Element Bars lets energy bar consumers custom design their own energy bars online. You can make it chewy, crispy, "oaty", with nuts, with dates, with cherries, with extra protein, with extra vitamin D etc.

Both of these business are targeting a very specific type of customer with a very focused product. This approach is becoming a core competitive advantage by essentially eliminating any competition.

You are your Facebook

A report came out yesterday saying that two thirds of employers will review a job candidate's Facebook or MySpace site before hiring them.

It made me think that gone are the days when our true selves were known only to our close friends. Before the internet, you were your resume. That was the first and last statement of record about who you were. Now, your Google results, MySpace and Facebook page, Twitter feeds, LinkedIn recommendations are all free game for people to make judgments about you. Sure, you’re all buttoned up in your interview but those Facebook photos showing you after a few drinks, trying to ride a cow while holding two sparklers reveals a bigger picture (yes, I really saw a photo like that). Not to mention all the people who post rude things about their boss or co-workers.

Technology keeps our past alive and always stalking us. Think twice before posting any embarrassing cow photos. Or better yet, just don't ride the cow.

A Clever Burger King Ad

It took me a second to get it. Pretty clever.

Smash and Grab

Road rage happens because you're anonymous. It's easy to flip someone off when your victim doesn't know who you are. You wouldn't be as likely to cut someone off or give them stink-eye if your name, photo and phone number was published on the back of your car.

Web rage happens because you're anonymous too. People are generally civil in person, but they morph into belligerent blow-hards when they post anonymously on web message boards. Seth Godin calls them Monkeys with Megaphones. Just spend time reading the aggressive posts on YouTube and news sites to see what I mean. Anonymity creates a smash-and-grab mentality.

Perhaps someone's already thought of this, but it would be good to start a second Internet. One where no one is anonymous. Everyone knows your real name and your home town. Message boards would take on a much more normal tone, there would be no spam and we'd all try to get along....just like real life.

A Focus Group About You

A few years ago I was leaving for work when my wife casually muttered that I was dressed "like a Backstreet Boy". Since then I've wondered if the personal brand we think we project is really what others see. Well, now you can know for sure with a service called Check Your Image (currently only in Germany but coming soon to the US).

Check Your Image lets you upload photos and information about yourself and have 30 strangers offer feedback on your style, perceived attitude, body language and the personal brand you project. You can even ask questions like "Friends say I look cold and intimidating. Do you agree?". Tom Peters calls this "A Brand Called You".

Perhaps Check Your Image is slightly extreme, but it's a good reminder that managing our personal brand directly impacts on how far we go.

Johnson & Johnson Introduces 'Nothing But Tears' Shampoo To Toughen Up Newborns

Another (fake) bad business idea for a Friday afternoon, courtesy of The Onion. Here's an excerpt from the story...

After decades of coddling young children, Johnson & Johnson unveiled its new "Nothing But Tears" shampoo this week, an aggressive bath-time product the company says will help to prepare meek and fragile newborns for the real world.

The result of five years of intensive research and market testing, the company's "Nothing But Tears" shampoo contains only the most abrasive of natural ingredients and is nearly impossible to rinse from a baby's screaming face. According to directions printed on the label, the bath-time product is best used with scalding hot water for optimal toughening-up of newborns.

Available in an easy-to-find-and-open bottle, the new shampoo is also guaranteed to give children a "healthy dose of reality."

"You'll notice a difference after just one use," said Michelle Baker, head of new product development. "Whether it's your newborn's more hardened appearance, the way he now approaches people with guarded skepticism, or just that look on his face that says, 'Oh wait, maybe life isn't all hugs and kisses and rainbows. Maybe I need to get my ****ing act together.'"

Lost in Translation

Seems a Beijing restaurant owner used a web translation engine to translate his restaurant's name during the Olympics. The result? Not so good.

Sometimes taking a few seconds to double check your work makes all the difference.

Microsoft Fights Back (Finally!)

Seems Microsoft has finally taken enough punches from Apple's hugely effective "Mac versus PC" campaign. About time.

Microsoft's agency, Crispin Porterl Bogusky (Mini, Burger King, Coke Zero etc.) just launched the Mojave Experiment, a mini site showing focus group footage of what users think of Vista when they don't know it's Vista. A few things I noticed about this campaign...

1. It feels raw and scientific, a stark contrast to Apple's stylized ads
2. It subtly implies that Apple's not truthful when it criticizes Vista
3. It feels honest, and the users don't seemed coached or planted
4. It's in harmony with the Microsoft brand which seems silly when it tries to out-hip Apple

We'll see if this helps stabilize Vista's sluggish sales. My thought though is that Apple has had too much time to effectively brand Vista as broken, slow and frumpy.

Remote Control for Your Life

Your phone is becoming a digital remote control - just point it at stuff to get info about it sent to your phone.

Here's one of the recent Google Android open source winners who invented a new twist on reading bar codes with your camera phone (though his video example of scanning a CD bar code seems a little antiquated. I mean, who buys CD's anymore? Sheeesh.). This takes the mobile bar code revolution happening in Japan one step further. A handful of start-ups are even working on technology that recognizes the shapes of objects making bar codes obsolete.

It's really fun to see all the innovations taking place with mobile technology. Check out BioWallet, another Android winner.

Innovating Through a Sticky Problem

You can innovate anywhere, on anything. Take the peanut butter jar. That's a pretty mundane item; it's been around forever. And we've also been frustrated forever because you can never quite get that last ooze of peanut butter with your knife way down in the corners of the jar.

Well, someone came up with a pretty good idea to make the peanut butter jar better. Why not put lids on both sides so you can open the bottom and get the last bit out?

Just goes to show you can make anything a little better when you apply some creativity and reinvent from scratch.

The Frontal Lobe is a Marketer's Best Friend.

Among the most important differences that separate us from the animals are 1) A frontal lobe and 2) Opposable thumbs. Learning to use your frontal lobe is, in my opinion, the most powerful marketing tool you have.

Your frontal lobe manages imagination and predicting the future. It's your frontal lobe that predicts that anchovy ice cream is a bad idea. You don't have to taste anchovy ice cream to know it's a bad idea, you just know it is because your frontal lobe tells you it is.

· Steve Job's frontal lobe predicted that people want simple, beautiful technology.
· Herb Kelleher's frontal lobe predicted that people want a low-cost, no-frills airline.
· Art Fry's frontal lobe predicted that people need a way to stick notes anywhere.
· Dean Kamen’s frontal lobe predicted that urbanites everywhere would ditch their cars for a Segway scooter. He should stop taking his frontal lobe so seriously.

I'm not claiming to be a Steve Jobs or a Herb Kelleher, but my frontal lobe is telling me that mobile marketing will one day be bigger than web marketing. It will be the third screen of media. It's targeted. It's efficient. It's permission-based. It's timely (point of sale). It's viral. It's personal. It's measurable. And as long as the mobile operators keep spammers and other marketing mercenaries out, it will be widely accepted by consumers (it already is in Asia and Scandinavia).

That's why I'm using my frontal lobe to predict how mobile marketing and research can energize the campaigns of my clients. And since my clients and I all have opposable thumbs too, we've already accomplished some good work in this area.

Personal Space Issues

Growing up in the west (Utah), I like my space. In the west we don’t wedge ourselves so tightly into subway cars that you know who ate pastrami for lunch. We don’t jockey for position in crowded streets or share tables with strangers in crowded cafes. We’re more into endless horizons, spacious homes and the open road.

Apparently, not everyone understands the concept of the “personal space bubble”.

While hiking through Bryce Canyon National Park this weekend I found myself totally alone on a cliff, breathing in a 300-mile view of red-rock hoodoos and Douglas Fir. Even though the cliff was 1000’s of feet long, a passing group of German tourists ignored all the vacant parts and surrounded me at pheromone distance, seemingly oblivious to any awkward space problems and my evil glare that would have said “I hope you develop a nasty tongue rash” if I knew how to glare in German.

Oh well. Let’s just chalk it up to Europe being a crowded place with space bubble deflation issues and a finicky Utah boy who prizes solitude.

SMS Marketing Fights Food Inflation

To help curb food price gouging, the Italian government has turned to the ultimate information dissemination device for grocery shoppers…mobile phones.

A shopper can text “bananas” to short code 47947 and get an instant SMS reply listing average banana pricing in their area at different types of stores. The system sends price info for various fruits, meats, veggies, dairy products and fish.

If governments recognize mobile as an effective product info service for on-site shoppers, marketers should too.

Don't Play Hard To Get With Your Customers

Some businesses make money by acting too busy for you. Think a trendy night club whose popularity grows as the line grows, wedding planners that can't quite fit you in this month, or a restaurant that's already taking reservations for August. Sometimes scarcity makes customers want you more.

But for most types of businesses, it helps to be eager. Eager to win your business and eager to impress right off the bat.

I'm a new landlord and recently needed to run a background check on a potential tenant. I called a local screening firm and was nonchalantly told by the woman answering the phone that she was eating lunch and would call me back. A little irritated I agreed and waited for a return call. After almost 3 days, they finally got back to me but of course it was too late and I'd already found another service.

Showing customers that you are eager and excited to help goes a long way. Everyone wants to feel wanted, especially your customers.

Direct to the Source

Have you ever had someone try to avoid you? If you're a marketer you know the feeling. Consumers avoid marketers with TiVo, pop-up blockers, email white-lists, caller ID and that last defensive mental moat, selective perception.

In the not-so-far-off future, a new advertising model will emerge: direct incentives in exchange for accepting ads. The perfect way to do this is with mobile phones. Mobile marketing is micro targeted, efficient, personal, location based and relevant. Of course, if people get advertising on their phone, they'll also want to be incentivized with cash or a subsidized phone bill.

Effective mobile marketing goes right to the source, cutting out traditional media entirely. As marketers pay consumers to view their ads directly online and on their phones, traditional media companies lose power, but it will be a positive overall because advertisers will have permission to connect directly to consumers, and consumers will have more control over what kind of marketing they get.

Bad Toys

On the left, a bad toy idea back in 1954.
On the right, a really bad toy idea from 2007.

The kid's pole dancing kit is no joke. It was marketed to 7 year-olds in the UK by Tesco with the following copy: "Unleash the sex kitten inside...simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go! Soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars".

Stupidity spans the generations, I guess.

Deep in the Amazon

Did anyone else find last week's coverage of the lost Amazonian tribe hilarious? Here's how I imagined their conversation going...

Man on the right: Hey, Kyle look up at that.
Man on the left: Wow, Todd, nice spot. Check out the downthust on that Agusta TiltRotor 300 chopper.
Man on the right: No kidding. It's carrying a whole camera crew and still floats like a hummingbird. But is it a TiltRotor 300 or 400?
Man on the left: It's the 300, see, I'll point to the face plate with my bow
Man on the right: I see it now, right there. Hey, wanna go get a frappuccino?
Man on the left: Sure. Should we invite that naked dude behind us who painted himself with black mud? He looks like he needs a friend.

No Problems? No Profits.

I have a sign up in my office that says "No problems? No profits."

Simply put, if it were easy, everyone would do it and there would be no more profit in it. If everyone got admitted to Stanford, everyone would go and it wouldn’t be as valuable.

In my market research business, every time I'm faced with a challenge that makes me want to slink away, I just remind myself that my ability to solve it (while others are not willing to try) is how I get paid.

We are experiencing this concept right now with oil prices. Increasing prices have brought problems like rising food costs, crowded mass transit and less disposable income. But high oil prices have also brought us the gifts of increased desire for alternative energy, more efficient vehicles and better mass transit systems.

Problems are painful, but the rewards of solving them make you glad you have them.

Turning the Volume Knob Up To Eleven

I recently donated a small amount of money to a presidential candidate and yesterday an earnest party rep called my cell during a meeting to ask for more.

Not being able to talk, I politely told them I wasn't interested in giving more for the moment, but thanks for the call. Not sensing my queue to end the call, the rep pivoted to his script with a rehearsed retort "I understand, but how badly do you want to win this November?" A little annoyed, I answered that of course I would like them to win, but I'm not going to donate more right now, thanks for calling me.

Again, the rep ignored my signal to end the call and launched into another reason why I should give. At this point I decided that we were in a loop and I had to punch my way out. "Sorry", I said "I can't talk anymore to you. " and I hung up.

The next time they pop up on my caller ID, how eager do you think I'll be to take their call? They tried so hard to get me to give that now I don't want to speak with them anymore because I don't want to go through the hard-sell meat grinder again.

Marketers do this all the time. We latch onto customers and assail them with reasons to buy. We profile them, stalk them and interrupt them. That's a good way to win a battle but lose a war. Smart marketers design remarkable products and speak to consumers in small but potent doses over time, winning trust and business. Turning the volume knob up to 11 only works for metal bands.

Be Consistently Good

Apple is producing not only some of the best consumer products in any category, but also some of the best advertising.

• Get a Mac Campaign: Widely popular on TV and Youtube. The campaign has boosted the careers of both Justin Long (Mac) and John Hodgman (PC). Here's an especially clever incantation of the campaign for the web that appeared on CNet's Vista page.


• iPod: Lush, loud and vibrant, iPod ads are still the most eye-popping images on TV. I noticed that when an iPod ad comes on the screen at the gym, everyone on treadmills starts running to the beat.


• iPhone: Simple ads that demonstrate iPhone's features in stark simplicity. With a product this captivating you don't need bells and whistles in your ads.

These campaigns all feed seamlessly into Apple's brand promise of tech simplicity and design beauty, making a perfect circle. Apple is an example of being consistently good at whatever you set out to do.

Viva La Sell-Phone Revolución

Google was nothing. If you want to see the next battlefield of global ad titans look at that cell phone in your hand (but not while you're driving, please). Mobile marketing has the potential to be both extremely effective and extremely irritating if not done right. Imagine the possibilities...

• Opting into a program where you get a text coupon to your favorite restaurant if it's lunchtime and you are within one mile.


• Taking a phone survey in the check-out line about how your shopping experience was to get a discount when you reach the cashier.


• Scanning a bottle of wine at the store with your phone to see if any other stores within 5 blocks carry it cheaper.


• Watching video ads while you wait in line as a way to reduce your cell phone bill.


• Getting an automatic text whenever one or more of your friends is GPS detected arriving at your favorite nightclub or restaurant.


• Getting paid to forward a sponsored video or text message to a friend.

In some of these examples you can see the potential for good or ill. The bottom line is mobile marketing is coming. It will be bigger than direct mail. Bigger than print and bigger than online. It is the first platform that can reach consumers everywhere they go. The key will be doing it in a way that lets them stay in control.

Doing vs. Seeming

Some people are good at doing. Others are good at seeming to do. Truth is, you need to be good at both.

People who are good at doing but can't seem to do are martyrs. They arrive early, stay late, sacrifice weekends and never get any credit because they don't know how to cash in the capital their hard work generates. These people are rarely rewarded for their sweat.

People who are good at seeming to do are divas. They rush from meeting to meeting, go on about how busy they are and always look to be carrying a heavy load of responsibility. These people are eventually exposed as frauds.

The key to success is to both do and seem to do. That way you contribute and get your share of praise and reward.

Tryvertising

Have you noticed it too? The Happy Mass Market Consumer of the 1950's and 60's morphed into the Jaded, Beaten-Down, Skeptical Consumer of 2008? I suppose 58 years with the Marketing volume knob cranked to 11 has made us just a little tone deaf.

People are tired of the same old interruption marketing model, as in "We interrupt this program to bring you..." "Here's a billboard to interrupt your view of the city" and "Sorry to interrupt dinner with this phone call, but we thought you'd really like to know about...".

Tryvertising is an emerging marketing trend that doesn't rely on interrupting you to get your attention. Instead, it uses technology, events and social networks to introduce products via sampling. Here are some examples from SpringWise of Tryvertising in action...

• Fireplace maker opens restaurant full of fireplaces.


• Reaching moms via word of mouth in Australia.


• Free commuter shuttle service with products on the bus.


• Taste strips in magazines that dissolve on your tongue.


• Beauty and Fashion samples in a tube, delivered to your door.

One act is worth 1000 ads

My friend Steve just got back from visiting NYC with his family. Driving to the airport for their departure they got stuck in a famous Park City snowstorm and missed their flight so Delta had to book them on a later flight. When they arrived at the gate their Delta gate representative said she had noticed that Steve and his family were no longer sitting together and had already shuffled things around so they could all be together on the flight. Steve was so impressed that he told her "You've got me. I'm now a Delta fan".

How many TV ads would it have taken to get Steve to feel that way? Maybe no amount ever could. Yet it just took one employee who cared enough to notice a problem and fix it on her own. Marketing is less about ad campaigns and more about instilling a sense of pride and empowerment in employees to delight customers.

Is mental privacy a right?

Email spam.
Escalator steps with logos.
Parking lot strip sponsorship.
Paying you to change your legal to name to "Pizza Hut".

Sometimes I'm convinced marketers won't stop until every inch of the earth is covered by logos like a NASCAR stock car. The next new frontier? Your cerebellum.

Marketers are now stuffing consumers into MRI machines to see if their frontal lobe lights up when they watch that new Verizon ad (if it were me, it would be the lobe that makes me feel pissed and woozy). Marketers are also experimenting with hypersonic sound projectors so you think someone is whispering "They’re following you" in your ear as you stand in front of the spy section at Borders. Researchers can even emit frequency waves that make you feel a strong sense of euphoria or empathy.

So, do we have the right to mental privacy? As writers for Wired and Fast Company point out, mental privacy may be the next big human rights battle. The government has already established that it has rights to our memories, just ask anyone who's been subpoenaed.

How about this tip. Instead of using Jedi mind tricks to get people to buy, why don't we just do as Seth Godin says and make remarkable products that sell and advertise themselves? Seems simple, although an empathy ray will come in handy when I tell my wife I need an iPhone.

Andy Warhol 2.0

Andy Warhol 1.0 is obsolete. We've moved beyond everyone getting 15 minutes of fame and now you just need to be famous to 15 people. Media fragmentation, blogs and social networking like MySpace and Facebook create a new definition of fame where millions are "famous" to their own inside guild of friends and fans. The site http://www.justin.tv/ lets you broadcast every minute of your life to people who don't have one.

And even fame, in the traditional Brad Pitt, Jennifer Alba sense, is losing value. No longer are Hollywood A-listers a guarantee of box-office bonanzas. Just ask Colin Farrell (Alexander), or Halle Berry (Catwoman) or Lindsay Lohan (I Know Who Killed Me). America is smitten with Hollywood’s scandals in rehab more than Hollywood’s talent on the screen.

So I suppose the good news is everyone has a shot to be famous in their own little sphere. The bad news is, everyone has a shot to be famous in their own little sphere...and it's getting pretty loud out there.

Torch goon squad is a Chinese PR disaster

Tibet protesters keep disrupting the Torch Relay for Beijing’s 08 Olympic games despite China's goon squad of thugs trying to protect it. China calls these guys "Flame Attendants" but it was revealed yesterday that they are really Chinese paramilitaries dressed in pastel blue track suits.

The London media called these guys "Horrible Chinese Thugs" and they have been criticized by torch bearers like Konnie Huq who said, "They were barking orders at me, like 'Run! Stop! This! That!' and I was like, 'Oh my gosh, who are these people?"'

Strong-arm tactics may work in China but it's not going over well everywhere else. If the Beijing Olympic committee had any clue they would immediately yank these torch tyrants and replace them with kinder, non-threatening attendants, leaving security to local police along the route....not that I'm trying to help the Chinese government or anything.

China hopes the Olympics will help change its reputation as a human rights abusing, oppressive government that’s willing to squash dissent at any cost. Ironically, the torch relay goon squad has eloquently demonstrated that China is exactly that, no matter how spiffy their track suits look.

This little piggy went to market

Did you know you can buy a motor home big enough to park your car in it? Just think about that for a second. Here in America we have developed to a point where we park our cars inside our bigger cars. Yes, our cars have garages.

Some might see this as a symbol of proud US prosperity but it gives me the unnerving feeling that the end is nigh.

Adam Smith's economic principles of the invisible hand, free markets and the division of labor have driven the US economy to dizzying heights, so much that we’ve reached a point of catastrophic success. We've become so successful with capitalism that a shadow factor has entered the stage--unbridled greed--and it's chipping away at our economy. The sub-prime credit crunch is just the beginning.

We as Americans consume so much that we've heavily indebted ourselves to pay for Seven-brand jeans, pimped-out Hummers, home theater systems, spring break, sickeningly large motor homes and a million other trifles we want but don't need. US GDP growth is driven largely by debt, which is why the stock market soars each time the Fed cuts rates.

Now don't misunderstand; I'm all for greedy capitalists, but only the ones who can pay cold cash for the stuff they lust after. When Adam Smith wrote "Wealth of Nations", I think he pictured capitalism serving a society where people focused on their needs, not one where they mortgaged their futures to buy singing mounted fish or diamond-studded teeth grills.

This is capitalism-extreme, hijacked to the outer frontiers of where it was intended to go.

Multiplying our choices

Malcom Gladwell gave a talk at TED about choice. His point was that we as consumers don't just want spaghetti sauce, we want extra chunky, garden-style with four cheeses. We also want lemon-apple no-spot dishwasher detergent, and medium rare Gouda-cheese crusted fillet mignon with caramelized onions and a mango reduction.

The point is, we as consumers are unique people with nuanced needs so marketers, ever happy to oblidge, respond by multiplying our product options to the most subtle detail.

While this approach has been profitable, it has also introduced friction and stress into our lives. Have you ever stood in the grocery aisle wondering which of the 10 kinds of Wheat Thins you should buy? Or wondered which of the 15 cable TV plans to select? Sometimes just the rainbow blur of colors whizzing past me as I push my cart through Target is enough to make me dizzy. According to Wikipedia, there are 18 kinds of Chips Ahoy cookies. 18!

There's something nice about simplicity and just being happy with what's in front of you. Sometimes I long for the days of chocolate or vanilla, plain Levi jeans and a 1-page cafe menu. Marketers have learned they can make money by multiplying choice, but I've learned I can be happy by dividing choice down to just the best two or three options.

Welcome to the jungle, baby! You're gonna die!

I'm a fairly adventurous guy. I like rock climbing. Slot canyons. Camping. SCUBA diving. Football. Slam-dancing at John Tesh concerts...you know, GUY stuff.

And I've always kind of romanticized the concept of being out in the jungle a-la Indiana Jones. Whacking thick brush with a machete, leaping over quick-sand and soaking up all those cool jungle sounds. Maybe you'll laugh but my favorite attraction at Disneyland is the Enchanted Tiki Room.

Well, last month I went to Honduras with my wife on a dive trip and on the flight down I was amping myself up about spending time hiking through the jungle. The day after we arrived I walked a few yards down the road from our 5-star dive resort, gazed up at the menacing jungle mountain before me teeming with fire ants, mud, mosquitoes, ticks, boar, poison ivy and possibly rebel mines and quickly decided it had been too long since my last Pina Colada so I turned back and mentally crossed "Jungle Tour" off my list.

A Navy Seal I ain't.

Speeding along "The Grid"

Particle accelerator physicists have developed a new Internet called "The Grid" that supposedly is 10,000 times faster than the current Internet platform. (Al Gore has already taken credit.) They said that kind of speed will allow us to download huge quantities of data in seconds, transmit 3-D holographic images, bring Africa into the world's economy and dramatically improve human productivity.

Yeah right. It really just means we'll be able to pass along fart jokes, Nigerian scam emails, and let Russian hackers spam us 10,000 times faster.

Seriously though, it's fun to imagine how this could change our lives.

• Could The Grid allow instant translation into any language?


• Could it allow for massive online demonstrations with millions of people?


• Could billions of people take video of every waking moment of their lives and upload it into a massive online history?


• Could it facilitate gigantic, online churches with millions of parishioners?


• When an Amber alert is triggered, could every nearby resident's cell phone instantly go off with a picture of the missing child?


• One day, could you remotely "log in" to the thoughts of other people using mind sensors?

Yet another reason to stay home and surf, I suppose.

Stuff on my mind lately...

• Was it fate? When I brought lunch back to my office from Big City Soup, I realized they switched up my order with the girl in front of me. Turns out her grilled cheese panini was better than my turkey wrap would have been. Did she think the same thing?
  
  


• Why do I like REM's new album Accelerate so much even though the songs have basically no memorable melodies? It's a musical mystery.
  
  


• I'm secretly worried that I sort of admire Obama, even though I could never bring myself to vote for him.
  
  


• It's obvious that there are false arguements on each side of the global warming debate. Isn't there some uninterested third party that can just tell us the truth?
  
  


• Why is it that as soon as I bought an Xbox, all my friends stopped playing online? Am I that bad?
  
  


• Am I a too lazy when it comes to physical labor? Or am I smart for working hard enough to pay someone else to do it for me? How long would my family survive in a national crisis if we had to grow our own crops?
  
  


• I'm beginning to think that 90% of marketers are 90% BS.
  
  


• Current country music is just crap. Then again, so is most Top 40, club and current "alternative". Maybe that's why mash-ups are getting more popular. They put a new twist on good, old music.

400 laughs per day.

My little girls had a friend over today and those musical, girly giggles echoed through the house for hours.

I read somewhere that kids laugh 400 times a day on average and adults laugh 30-50 times per day. I think for most people the amount of laughing you do is inversely correlated to your property tax bill. If you made a chart of my daily laughing quota, it'd probably look like the chart above, so I need to take time to laugh a little more (and I'm not talking about those snarky, black laughs I do when I read about Elliot Spitzer's Client 9 press conference or how morbidly obese Americans now rely on Jazzy Scooters to take out their mail).

An honest gut laugh until tears stream down your cheeks is therapy, joy and endorphins all in one blast. It's the perfect reset button for your soul.

And so it begins...

Justin's list of late-adoptions....

• Cell Phone (adopted in 2001)
• South Park (adopted in 2005)
• Arcade Fire (adopted 2006)
• Being fairly serious about recycling (2007)
• iPod (adopted in 2007)
• Xbox (adopted 2007)
• Disapproval of President Bush (adopted 2007)
• Blogging (adopted April 2008)
• TiVo (planning to adopt sometime in 2010)
  
  Ironic that being a marketing guy, I'm pretty much a late-majority adopter/laggard at so many important things like blogging. We'll see how this goes. I'm not expecting the Pulitzer for this, but at the least a few good friends can check in with me here once in a while and I can keep a record of my thoughts so I can look back and rue them bitterly later. :)